Super Muppet - aka Carla: Muppet moments include losing camera on evening 1 of holiday, nearly leaving camera at the elephant sanctuary, leaving shampoo and conditioner at every hotel in Thailand.

Mild Martin - aka Martin: SO laid back he's virtually unconscious! Very good with roll ups and the Banzai Beer Challenge.

Gay Pilot - aka Steve: Cabin crew impressions just a bit too convincing for some people. Apparently has a pilot's uniform but works in Tie Rack, cf. Catch Me If You Can.

Jyllette Twins - aka Julie and Lynnette: Pronounced Gillette and due to their inseparability. Hobbies include drinking and non-stop innuendo.

Jelly - aka Rachel: Jelly Babies make her hyper, hence the name. Looks about 14 and has to sit on Martin's lap when in Bangkok Taxis. This is a trade off between being prevented from disappearing down one of the air vents and experiencing CC.

Fingers - aka Lou: Not a reference to knocking the little man out of the rowing boat. This name arises due to Lou's incredible speed and manual dexterity in the face of a mountain of prawns the size of small marine mammals. Despite garlic oil threatening to ruin her grip, she defeated the prawns in under 5 minutes - those really are some fingers...!

Glossary

CC - Convoy cock: Martin gets excited by the vibration on Mr. Boon's Bouncy Bus. Back axle and nil suspension can be a virtue! Can also be brought on by elephants taxis and tuk-tuks.

Wanking like a safari park monkey: Activity taken up with great gusto by someone when the Duvet Dynamite is out of town.... see illustration!

Buddha Eeeeemage: This is of course a statue of lord Buddha. Thai Buddha's differ from their Chinese counterparts by virtue of being a) slimmer and b) having a "flame halo"

Lava stone and Semen: The construction materials used in the earliest of the capitals. The latter component is subject to confirmation. Sources don't indicate any tendency for groups of monks to have been "monkeying around" over several years to achieve the required quantities. We believe the second ingredient to actually be cement. Now if we were talking Catholic priests, it might be a different matter...

Olympic Whispering: Unusual technique used by Super Muppet to ensure that nobody was aware that everyone else was keeping her awake by snoring. Also used as a subtle means of communicating carnal desire.

Bridge Over the River Ping: (pronounced "peeeeeeng") - lesser known sequal which nearly ruined Alec Guiness' career.

Infamous Thai Water Chicken: Part fowl part amphibian, this is a rather curious and somewhat shy bird. Beautiful plumage, the Thai water chicken and a delicacy tasting a bit like frog.

Frog-on-a-stick: This is a rather odd amphibian, rather less mobile than it's wholly aquatic cousins due to it's long wooden anal prosthesis. This rasberry ripple of the amphibian world lives exclusively on small handcarts by the roadside. Remember to give generously folks....

Porn: Thai word meaning "blessing" - indeed, a blessing in any language, although sometimes a bit awkward to get ones tongue around.